The Falsehood of Overwork

We currently live in a society where we’re OBSESSED with being overworked. We wear it like a badge of honor. I’ve had close friends in various programs such as veterinary school or law school competing about who has it “worse”. Who is more tired? More exhausted? Putting in more hours? Who has a bigger work load? Who is putting in the most hours? Oh you worked 12 hours today! I’m on my 12th day of 15 hour shifts… TAKE THAT!

We take this obsession with overwork and bring it into every area of our lives. Yoga and dance are seen by people as being for the “weak”. We’ve developed military style workouts – “boot camp” – and managed to convince people that they need these in order to be healthy. Instead of focusing on making people enjoy what they’re doing when they manage to find a few hours in their days to focus on self-care… we’re basically making people beat themselves to a pulp and hate every second of it. More misery? MORE POWER!

Moms are competing as to who has it worse every day. Arguing over whose husband is messiest, or how much harder it is to be a stay at home mom, or vice versa.

So you go from over worked in the office, to doing unnecessarily intense workouts, to arguing with your friends during your down time over how awful your husband is.

Why the actual F*CK are we competing for who has it worse? Why are we so excited to be bragging about things we should be complaining about?

Any one who has been at all looped into the science coming out of exercise studies will tell you that there is no dramatic difference to your health if you workout just enough to get your heart rate into the aerobic zone for 30 minutes a day, versus being ready to throw up at the end of your workout. I’m willing to bet theres quite a difference when it comes to your mental sanity.

We can expand this to nearly every single facet of our lives.

Instead of focusing on all the ways we’re miserable in our lives, and making every aspect of our lives a competition for being more over worked than the person next to us. Why don’t we step back and realize that none of these things are making us fulfilled.

That’s a word we don’t talk about enough. Fulfillment.

How many of the things you’re doing in your life are actually making you feel fulfilled? How much of your lifestyle is actually feeding your soul?

 

What Are You Willing to Suffer For?

This question was asked in an interesting book I’m almost done reading and it got me thinking about all my past “efforts” that didn’t quite pan out the way I initially thought they would.

And the simple truth was that they weren’t significant enough to my life for me to suffer for them.

If you think about your past relationships, there were probably ones that you seemingly fought hard for, and others you walked away from. There were probably those that you felt absolutely tortured by but you couldn’t bring yourself to leave. Perhaps it was the quantity of time that you had already put in, or perhaps (like I have often done), you held on to the memories of good times that were long gone.

It’s interesting what we are willing to suffer for. If you think about the torture you probably endured in college, and then maybe in grad school, you’d be shocked to know how many people still stick around at jobs they hate after-the-fact. We suffer through decades of schooling to suffer through even more decades of awful work-life. And somehow, this isn’t considering insanity.

When it comes to our self-care we often neglect ourselves and then complain about the consequences of that neglect. Often, we’re simply stunned and amazed by the people who put hours upon hours of effort into their bodies at the gym – the truth is that they are willing to suffer for it, and we are not.

I’ve coached hundreds of people over the last few years and most have tried several different ‘diet’ programs, but most went back to their old habits. Why? Because they were only willing to suffer for a short time. Lifestyle changes take a prolonged amount of suffering before they become enjoyable and let’s be honest – eating cupcakes is easier and more enjoyable than doing burpees and eating kale.

Not that this is accurate or representative of anything large-scale study in particular but I polled some Facebook friends and some ladies in a group and asked what they did for themselves in the last year that made them the happiest. Most answers were like “finished college” “got a new job” “had a baby” “got certified in ____”. All of these things include suffering. In some way or form. But here’s the thing, it’s often the things we suffer for most that become the highlights of our lives. They become the shining stars and benchmarks against which all future efforts are measured. They often bring us into growth and change our lives in ways we could have hardly imagine when we started.

So next time, when someone asks “what do you want…”.. the real question should be “What are you willing to suffer for?”

Good question to ask while you ponder your New Year’s Resolutions for 2017!

Not an Excuse

The food chain is a vicious concept. From the beginning of man we’ve always had this hierarchy – someone is better than someone else andddd the rich white man sits at the top of everything. I’m here to make the argument that the food chain – although relevant in your day to day life is no longer an excuse for being a failure. I had an argument recently with a girl I went to junior high with who told me she knew she’d never get anywhere because she’s black so she’s just going to accept the way things are and try to milk the system. No marriage + more babies + no job = more “free” government money.

I was a sociology minor in college and although you can talk about how the  the welfare system, section 8 housing, food stamps, and the ghetto are designed to keep the poor where they are – it’s not an excuse not to TRY to not be there. The issue is that this disgusting philosophy – of I’m black/spanish/a red neck/poor so I’m going to sit on my ass and let the government support me – keeps getting passed down by parents to their children. I’ve heard of children being told “even if you can go to college, don’t, because you’re black, you’ll just inherit my apartment and be fine”. How do you look yourself in the mirror KNOWING you didn’t try to take every opportunity? How do you live with yourself KNOWING that thousands (if not millions) of people in the generations before you DIED for you to have your RIGHT to go and sit in a classroom with people of every culture and gender and you don’t bother to use it? PEOPLE DIED so you can have the ability to do more than they did, and YOU are a pathetic excuse for a human being who is doing NOTHING. Nothing except unfortunately reproducing, and as my good friend D.D. points out- we can’t punish the children because their parents are ridiculous.

This applies to so many things. As a woman over the age of 18 – if you don’t vote – I suddenly lose 50% of the respect I had for you. Women FOUGHT and DIED so you can go and vote and you don’t? Don’t you realize it’s privilege? That there are SO MANY countries in the world where women are NOTHING. And you’re ‘too lazy’ or ‘too busy’ to read a few articles and go vote? It’s so disappointing and frustrating. Lucy Stone and Susan B. Anthony are rolling in their graves.

People in the US are always bragging about all these rights and freedoms that we have. “The greatest country in the world”. We look down on every other country across the world because we have more rights, because our women can vote (finally) and we’re not racist (supposedly). Yet, in 2012 only 57% of those eligible to vote bothered to show up and pick the President. The leader of the country. The man who can decided to mandate every young man put their life on the line and go fight – because he said so. Only 57% of us showed up to vote. Furthermore only 66% of women. That’s better than Men, but it’s not enough. It’s not enough when people fought for decades and when there are people around the world still fighting.

We can have all the rights in the world but what good are they if you don’t bother to use them?