Ever look around lately and notice how dependent people are?

I don’t just mean the loser dweebs who are living in their Mom’s basement at the age of 38. I mean everyone in every single way is seemingly dependent on someone for something. I’ll just discuss a few that have been tingling my senses recently.

This applies very obviously to couples. They’re the couples that order for each other, agree on everything, and basically blend two separate brains into a (not so bright) one. The ones who can’t possibly imagine being away from their significant other for longer than a few days. What did you do before this person? And more so, what are you planning to do after? If you are relying on your girlfriend to choose your wardrobe – are you going to stop buying clothes when you guys break up? Also, when did this become “okay” to do? The worst part of this is meshing lives (and obviously .. de-meshing them). If your boyfriend is your only friend and you forget that you have a life outside of his existence and you drop all of your girlfriends to focus on this wonderful relationship – what happens if you break up? Are you just hoping your friends are good enough people to be like “well you dropped me like a cheap hooker for the last 2 years- but SURE welcome back into my life!” I wouldn’t count on it.

Another type of dependance is the one where you have those people that value the opinions of their friends so highly that they run to them on EVERY single issue. Especially the ones who are IN relationships and take the advice of their SINGLE friends. Now, I’m not saying that people don’t have knowledge and experience to share. But some instances can’t have objective opinions. If your boyfriend is behaving a certain way, there’s a context and story to it, and unless your friends are actually INVOLVED in your relationship… which I hope they aren’t.. they can’t possibly know what’s best in every situation. Plus, why would you want them to? Create your own relationships, your own happiness, and your own world. The best relationships are the ones kept private.

The absolute worst kind of dependance is one where someone depends on someone else – anyone else – to validate them as a person and to make them happy. This could be family, friend, or significant other. But I’ve come across those people that are not comfortable with themselves to the point that they live and breathe off the opinions of others. This applies to physical and emotional things. You need someone to always tell you that you’re pretty? Or someone to tell you that you’re judging a situation properly? Or someone to tell you to ‘go for it’ when it comes to reaching your goals or dreams? Why do you need constant ass kicking and affirmation? Is it nice when your significant other tells you that you’re beautiful… Sure! Can you live without it? HOPEFULLY. Maybe I’m crazy but I have the automatic assumption that my boyfriend is attracted to me and likes me – otherwise, why would he even bother to be with me?

The point in all of this is that everyone has to find their own happiness. No matter who you’re with – you have to have a life of your own; goals of your own, friends of your own, time by yourself and an overall drive to be successful in life – regardless of whether that relationship continues or not. And mainly – you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else.