Word of the Year: Purpose

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I spent too large a portion of 2016 absolutely hating my job – large Broker Dealer bank world will do that to you – shout out to Merrill Lynch for being a complete sh*t hole! Then I spent an even larger portion finding a company that does Finance right, learning all the ins-and-outs, finding my groove, and am finally at the point where I love what I do 45+ hours a week. YAY ME!

I also spent a good portion of the year becoming a real “health” expert. Whatever that might mean to you. I’m a certified health coach thanks to IIN and on top of that I’ve taken course after course about eating to heal various disorders, eating to lose weight, eating to gain weight, eating to compete in figure related competitions, eating to fix imbalances in the body and ultimately, eating to be our own best selves – it certainly looks different for everyone and it’s been an amazingly fulfilling learning experience. I’ve even been fortunate enough to coach some amazing people and watch them transform. Pretty amazing stuff. YAY ME!

One thing down and the rest of my life to go.

Somewhere along the way I realized that although I absolutely love what I do – both full time and part time for work, I don’t have something I’m doing on a regular basis that would feel my soul.

I love helping people organize their financial lives and I love helping people solve their health and life problems in general. And although it is ABSOLUTELY a form of soul food to help others, it is entirely a practice dependent on having others to help. I felt for a while like the gaping hole was growing bigger because I was doing nothing that depended on me and only me and helped me to feeeeeeeeel goooooood!

Even though I’m a health coach, I’m not a big fan of working out. I loathe the gym. I’ve worked with personal trainers, some of which charged way too much for standing around at the gym and watching me jump rope while they texted, I’ve taken classes, I’ve done the whole gym shebang… and it’s just not fun for me. I just can’t spend the few free hours in a week doing something I absolutely detest.

Finance is not really something I can do in my free time. I definitely help others around me organize their finances and coach and teach them elements of finance every chance I get… until they’re likely more tired of hearing it than I am of saying it. But, as I mentioned, it’s hard to make a pass time out of this.

At some point I realized that a life filled with wonderful work that I love is not quite enough to satisfy my heart. Here came the thinking part; a list of things I enjoy, things I’m good at, and what I love:

  • Helping others
  • Reading
  • Buddhism
  • Yoga
  • Dancing
  • Being silly and childish
    • (Think swinging on the swing set at a playground and you’ll get the right idea)

I haven’t FULLY figured out what this means for my next year. BUT I’ve taken up Zumba classes on a regular basis and I’m doing Buti Yoga ( a form of Yoga that incorporates tribal dance, letting go of negative energy, and obviously.. yoga ).. I actually signed up to become a 200 hr RYT certified instructor in Buti Yoga, Vinyasa, and Bikram (hot) Yoga. I imagine I’m somewhere on the right track to feeding my soul.

A friend introduced me to this concept of doing a word of the year instead of a resolution so I chose the word “PURPOSE” for 2017. It seems to fit well with all the things I’ve managed to do this year to set myself up for a good next year, as well as all the things I’ve signed up for as we kick off the next year.

I’d love to hear what your word might be!

 

 

Be the Change you Want to see in People Around you

So I’ve clearly altered a famous quote in order to make a point. Seems legit.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship and how seemingly my definition of friendship is different from most people’s. I think my friends have certain obligations, such as always being honest with me… no matter what. Telling me things that may be hurtful. Looking out for my best interest, even when I’m not around. Being able to handle whatever I have to say. Understanding who I am as a person and defending me to others if necessary. This is just a short list… seemingly somewhat like a job description. But that’s really how I view friendship, and I think if someone wants to be your friend they should be willing to make certain they’re willing to take on that job. It’s totally optional, but once you take the job… you should be good at it.

I think that’s where the issues come in. When you befriend someone, or develop any relationship with anyone, you assume that individual is going to be good at it. That’s not usually the case, and there are usually hurdles to over come. That being said, if you want to continue being my friend and DEVELOP the relationship so it’s not like we’re just drinking buddies, then you will hear my shit, understand what I have to say and make changes accordingly. And I will do the same for you… assuming I value you enough to continue the friendship/relationship. Sometimes, you come to a cross roads – you realize that someone in your life doesn’t ‘qualify’ to be your friend. That’s okay. But it’s important to be honest… and realize that this person no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy. Then, you should cut them free (so they can be someone else’s shitty friend & no longer your problem!)

I think romantical relationships (yes, romantical is now a word) and friendships are not that different. If you want someone in your life you will move heaven and earth to keep that person in your life. No one can force you to change, but if someone is valuable enough… you won’t need to be forced.