Talent vs. Hard Work

September 23, 2013 Leave a Comment

“Hard work is better than Talent when Talent doesn’t work Hard” – Some random instagram meme crap

I’ve been thinking about this after one of my talented friends expressed his distaste for America’s obsession with Education. He happens to be an amazing writer and makes the very valid point of saying “how many people who study journalism are better writers than people who are just talented?” I genuinely agree with this sentiment except not everyone is talented. In fact, I’m pretty sure I fall into the category of people who lack natural talents. 

I’m an academic. And by that I mean I’m really good at school. I know how to tackle the work load. I know exactly what’s expected of me and I know how to be an over achiever. I’m also in the business world. I’m really not sure how someone could be naturally talented at what I do. You need SOME type of technical knowledge. Is it possible that if you have a natural urge to trade stocks that you would go ahead and learn everything possible without attending school? Yes. It’s absolutely possible. Is it likely? Are there a lot of people that do that? I’m not sure, I have yet to meet any.

I feel like ultimately, there are certain things you need to get educated for. Can a journalism degree turn a talentless writer with no creativity into the next great author? Unlikely. Can you become highly proficient in math, engineering, being a lawyer, trading stocks, financial planning or marketing by going to school? Yes.

There’s clearly a difference between being a financial planner and being a great pianist, for instance. I can sit there and practice piano all day every day and MAYBE become famous. I can go to school for music and never get anywhere past a minimum wage job. All things are possible but school is always a good fall back. Regardless of how much you do with your degree (or don’t do) you’ve gained skills that you otherwise wouldn’t have. I think any opportunity to learn is an opportunity you should take. What that knowledge gives you in the long run is absolutely unpredictable.. much like what your talent can provide you. 

Regardless of which route you choose to take, no one gets anywhere without working hard. Building your talents or studying in school requires hard work and dedication. And everyone should work to surprise themselves with their own achievements. 

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Competition

September 12, 2013 1 Comment

The desire to be the best is innate in all humans. We all want to be better, faster, stronger and smarter than everyone else. If you don’t, well.. you’re lying to yourself. It’s important that we get that job – above all other applicants. We want to marry the prettiest or smartest or wealthiest people. We all want to be better.

This is healthy. In fact, it’s the norm. Between friends and lovers alike… a little competition does everyone some good! Unless you’re crazy competitive.. like me.

I have been using a fitbit pedometer for well over a year now and I love it. I function around it. It’s absolutely amazing for control freaks like myself. I track my sleep, exercise, and food daily… and I get to see how they all interact. Days where I get more sleep, I’m less hungry. Days where I eat less carb-heavy food, I walk more… so on and so forth. It’s amazing. I know everything I could possibly want to know about my body that you can track as a metric. AWESOME!

Except that recently, my boyfriend got a fitbit. Why wouldn’t he? He’s also a control freak (Perhaps it’s why he understands me so well and doesn’t want to deck me in the face on a regular basis)! However, now that he has one.. I friended him on fitbit.com and I can see how many more (or less) steps he walks than I do. And I’ve gone bonkers on beating him. Everyday I sync up my fitbit to see how far I’ve walked, and all the rest of the information and the first thing my eyes go to is how much he’s walked. I do a little happy dance in my head if he’s walked less than me. This is what I mean by crazy competitive. If he’s anywhere close to where I am for the week, I make a mental note and take my dog on like a 3 mile walk or so to MAKE SURE he has no shot in hell of beating me. MUST. BE. BETTER.

This is of course a really great thing for my health. I’m walking more and have even lost a bit of weight. There must be an upside to being such a nut job right?

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Be the Change you Want to see in People Around you

June 26, 2013 1 Comment

So I’ve clearly altered a famous quote in order to make a point. Seems legit.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship and how seemingly my definition of friendship is different from most people’s. I think my friends have certain obligations, such as always being honest with me… no matter what. Telling me things that may be hurtful. Looking out for my best interest, even when I’m not around. Being able to handle whatever I have to say. Understanding who I am as a person and defending me to others if necessary. This is just a short list… seemingly somewhat like a job description. But that’s really how I view friendship, and I think if someone wants to be your friend they should be willing to make certain they’re willing to take on that job. It’s totally optional, but once you take the job… you should be good at it.

I think that’s where the issues come in. When you befriend someone, or develop any relationship with anyone, you assume that individual is going to be good at it. That’s not usually the case, and there are usually hurdles to over come. That being said, if you want to continue being my friend and DEVELOP the relationship so it’s not like we’re just drinking buddies, then you will hear my shit, understand what I have to say and make changes accordingly. And I will do the same for you… assuming I value you enough to continue the friendship/relationship. Sometimes, you come to a cross roads – you realize that someone in your life doesn’t ‘qualify’ to be your friend. That’s okay. But it’s important to be honest… and realize that this person no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy. Then, you should cut them free (so they can be someone else’s shitty friend & no longer your problem!)

I think romantical relationships (yes, romantical is now a word) and friendships are not that different. If you want someone in your life you will move heaven and earth to keep that person in your life. No one can force you to change, but if someone is valuable enough… you won’t need to be forced.

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Sex Addictions & Saltines

May 6, 2013 1 Comment

No, I wasn’t just picking two things that start with the same letter as I began typing this. These two are related, somewhat. Kind of like pregnancy and pickles.

I think anyone can list at least one celebrity/famous person that has ‘suffered’ from a sex addiction. Tiger Woods tends to come to mind for me. Mostly because he was in a seemingly happy marriage with a wife that (also, seemingly) couldn’t wait to bang him. I mean, who wouldn’t bang Tiger… he’s a pro at handling a stick.

Did I get that right? Any sports besides Hockey & Volleyball just make no sense to me.

More to the point, Tiger’s wife, Elin, is a hottie. Not a doubt comes to my mind that she has an entire list of much too attractive men ready to give it to her. So why cheat? I mean I get the need to have sex (I know, it’s earth shattering, women want sex too *GASP*), but I don’t get the need to cheat. I imagine that banging a new woman would be much like banging a new guy – uncomfortable, unfamiliar, maybe exciting, or maybe really frikkin AWFUL. Why risk the *hopefully* awesome sex you’re having on a *hopefully* regular basis with your current lover for something else that although new could be potentially AWFUL?

I will never understand cheaters. Not that I don’t know any, I know quite a few as I’ve recently discovered and I’ve had long discussions with all of them as to WHY bother in the first place- and the one thing I’ve discovered is that it comes down to fear. Mostly, fear of never being with anyone else aside from the person you’re with. Now, some people, such as myself are excited by the premise of loyalty and consistency. Others, apparently, not so much.

I don’t think that calling it a Sex Addiction is accurate. Being addicted to sex wouldn’t alone make you stray. It’s kind of like when you’re in the grocery store and you usually buy saltines but one day you’re like “I want to try something new” so you buy some ridiculous cracker or cookie that you later realize is not nearly as great as the classic. But the next time you’re at the grocery store – saltines are all sold out. Now I realize I’m comparing your significant other to salty crackers – but let’s be honest.. it’s not far off.

I guess my point with all this salty ranting is that you shouldn’t give up something great for the unknown. It’s never as good as you think it’s going to be.

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Keep it Simple

April 21, 2013 Leave a Comment

I saw one of those quote image things earlier today that got me thinking about life, friendships, relationships, etc. Clearly an effective image that someone managed to create unlike 99% of the other crap I see on instagram/facebook.

Basically it recommended keeping things simple. If you want to see someone – call them, want something – ask for it, like something – state it… get the picture? In lame terms, it’s not that complicated to live a happy life, just stop over thinking everything & think simply.. especially because you only have one life.

This got me thinking about my friends – who are, ironically, anything but simple. And i thought how many situations this focus on simplicity can solve. I have a friend who’s too afraid to ask another friend out… you want something – just ask. I have another friend who doesn’t know how to tell her boyfriend that she’s annoyed he rarely ever pays for her… don’t like something – tell him. Another friend of mine makes it a point to never be the first to text or call a guy regardless if she wants to hear from them or see them, she just waits for them to call….want to see someone – call them. I, personally, have been significantly busier this year than I have in many other prior years, and I try to balance everything but it’s hard and there are only so many hours in a day. Most of my friends have been nothing short of amazing, supportive and really just plain understanding of everything I have up in the air. But, understandably, I have other friends that complain that they never see me… Ironically these are also the same friends who never call or text me and try to see me. It’s simple – you want to see me, call me.

I feel like a lot of people are constantly over thinking, trying to strategize, trying to figure people out – whatever the case may be. But in reality things can be so much simpler. Why compete with someone on who makes plans more often or who calls more often or who pays for dinner more often … stop analyzing and just live. Do whatever the hell makes you personally happy, and whatever you do.. do it well.

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Check Your Baggage

April 13, 2013 Leave a Comment

Did ya miss me? 

School has taken over my life – sorry all, I promise I’m not deliberately neglecting you! 

Either way, I’ve been thinking through this for a while and I’d like to discuss baggage. Usually when you hear the term you think of that melodramatic girl you’re going to have to basically convince that you’re not going to beat her death if she goes to the movies with you. But in my definition of baggage, it comes in all shapes and sizes and can even come in the form of ‘lessons learned’.

First of all, men come with baggage too. So let’s just throw out that stereotype. In fact, in recent discussions in my personal group of friends – it seems the men have more baggage than the women. For one reason or another, usually pride, men don’t take the time to actually get over relationships. They hop, skip & jump right into “Onto the Next One” mode. Which is fantastic, except that ‘next one’ is probably just a rebound and you haven’t actually addressed the reason why your relationship ended. Yes, it usually takes one person to push another over the edge to end a long-term relationship – but all that build up… to the point where you’re both standing on opposite cliffs about to nose dive away from each other – that takes two people. It always takes two people to mess things up to the point where there’s no going back (unless one partner cheated on the other – but I can make the argument that the cheating was the ‘cliff’ or the way out for the cheater). In order to avoid punishing your new partner for a former partner’s mistake(s), it would be wise to truly assess what happened. You didn’t form a relationship with someone by hating them – so if you hate them in the end.. something happened. Figure it out, so that it doesn’t happen again.

Second, if you do the assessment, make it a deep and personal one. Simply taking fights and turning them into lessons won’t actually teach you to solve the problems at hand. For instance, if your former partner fought with you for not spending enough time with them, so now you see your new partner all the time to the point where it’ll make any normal person hurl – that’s not an assessment. Nor is it a solution. Perhaps you didn’t spend quality time with your former significant other, or perhaps he/she was insecure or didn’t trust you, or a million other things. The point is simply doing the opposite of the things you did in your failed relationship is not the way to grow and develop a new one.

Third and this probably the best advice I can ever give – shut up. In your new relationship, forget the old, bury it, send your baggage to the other side of the earth. If you’ve decided to commit to someone new, don’t bring up the old and don’t expect your new partner to give a damn about what happened with your ex. Why? Because the new partner is NOT your ex. Your new partner probably thinks the sun shines out of your ass (especially if you’re still in the honeymoon stage) and will think whoever messed things up with you deserves to be institutionalized. Don’t talk about it. Don’t fight about it. Don’t compare. And for goodness sakes – don’t punish your new partner for your old partner’s mistakes. Just because you were cheated on before, doesn’t mean it’ll happen again. If you’ve assessed your prior relationship and have committed to a new one, we’re going to assume that you’re over your ex. If you’re not, don’t waste anyone’s time by being a new relationship.

Let’s break the cycle people. Just because your ex was a douche doesn’t mean you have to be a bitch to the next guy. Check your baggage before you hurt someone who doesn’t deserve it.

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Updates!

November 17, 2012 Leave a Comment

I haven’t gone MIA. I’ve just had a lot going on & unfortunately my puppy is sick.

I have been writing a new blog to track his progress since nothing in this damn world matters even 1% as much as he does.

You can visit the new blog & keep up by subscribing here:  www.hersheythecocker.wordpress.com

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Nature: human & otherwise

November 5, 2012 1 Comment

A week after Hurricane Sandy hit the tri-state area and changed (read: ruined) many lives forever; I think this is an appropriately sappy post.

I have seen two opposite ends of the human nature spectrum in the last week.

So many of my friends opened their homes, lives & wallets to help those in need. Any of my friends who lost power, water and etc. were automatically welcomed with open arms. I had yet to experience such warmth and honest deep caring from humans until this storm. And for that (among many other things) I am very grateful. I thank all my friends for existing to begin with, for being alive, and for thankfully surviving this storm with minimal physical (& emotional) damage.

On the other hand Brooklyn experienced all the worst of people that tragedies tend to bring out. We had looters. We had people dressed in Con-Ed & Verizon uniforms going around and robbing homes at gun point. We had people pulling guns at each other over gasoline. It was disgusting. I even heard of someone robbing a donation center at gun point. The level of morality that these people clearly have is below that of Hitler’s.

My mother brought up an interesting point saying that things like that would never happen in the Soviet Union. In times of crises, if someone was stealing from someone else or looting.. the criminal would simply be shot. The mere threat of being shot deterred people from trying these things. Although I’m a huge proponent of every individual’s right to life… I do generally find it a subhuman action to steal from others… who possibly have less… at times like this. I don’t think shooting people would be a good way to prevent these things, but I do believe there should be some sort of greater punishment for someone stealing from a donation center during a state of emergency.

I would like to encourage everyone to help. The best way to help is to volunteer your time. Go to a donation site. Help sort things out and distribute them. Go to Rockaway or Gerritsen Beach or Sea Gate with some gloves and rubber boots and help people clean up. Gather some friends… go find some C & D batteries and flashlights and bring them to your local church. If you can’t do any of the above than PLEASE donate. At a minimum, please text REDCROSS to 90999.

Also, if you can imagine there are many animals that have been separated from their owners as well as homeless animals. If you can foster a cat or dog for a few weeks, the ASPCA would greatly appreciate it.

If you are reading this you are better off than many people.

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The Rules of Bookface

October 22, 2012 Leave a Comment

… Because frankly.. there should be some. I see a variety of stupid shit every single day. I’m annoyed.

Pictures of your lunch

Not Okay. Unless you’re eating something REALLY cool. Like exotic and different. Or you’re sharing a recipe. No one wants to see pictures of your McDonald’s McFatFuck Burger or your ceasar salad.

Memes that “aren’t” directed at anyone

You’re really obvious when you post a meme that says “I’m better than your ex, gonna be better than your next” and write a comment along the lines of “oh, I wonder who this can be for?!” Please, be less obvious. At least post pictures of men with tiny penises that “aren’t” directed at your ex.

ALL THE DUCK FACES

I’ve done this. I am the queen of duck faces. I do it because I like to make fun of all you orange looking girls that look ridiculous. I have seen some serious duck face photos with like 15 girls all in front of one mirror with duck faces on. NOT OKAY. under any circumstances. Being intoxicated is not an excuse either.

The same picture on repeat in 19 different places

How many times can you wear an Armani shirt at a dbag club and take the same “Pauly D” looking photo? Dumping a bottle of gel into your hair doesn’t make you cool. Taking photos of it makes you even less cool. In fact, this may be a reason to deport you.

Public Statuses that are really inside jokes with your BFFFFFFFFLLLLLLL

This isn’t myspace and we aren’t 12 years old. ‘Nuf said.

Relationship Complaining

… Should be kept private. Stop posting statuses that are like “OMG what would YOU do if YOUR boyfriend went through your thong drawer?” … No one is in your relationship except you. Deal with your own problems. The opposite works the same way. The only person you should be confessing your undying love to is your boyfriend, not your boyfriend and ALL of his closest friends and family and the rest of the world. Imagine an employer going on your facebook and the first thing they see is “my babyyy bought me the most AMAZiNG teddy bear EVERR” Yea.. you’re not getting hired.

Friending Your Mom

… and her being the kind of Mom that keeps track of your life and all your friends. You don’t want your friends walking into your home one day and your mom being like “oh, hey I saw you went to that restaurant in downtown….” not cute. The only thing worse than stalking people on facebook, is having your mom stalk people on facebook.

Asking someone out … through a wall post

For those of you who don’t understand this: NEVER ask anyone out over facebook. Even worse (unless you want to be laughed at for all eternity) is asking someone out publicly on facebook via their wall. This isn’t impressive. This IS very douchey. End of story.

Anyone see any other ridiculous facebook behavior??

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Boss Nature

October 9, 2012 Leave a Comment

First, I must credit the title of this post & the motivation for it to two awesome friends, M.T. and I.M. (yes, I decided to use initials starting now). We just came back from an incredible trip to New Hampshire – also made stops in Massachusetts and in Maine. Overall, my impression of New England as a whole has greatly improved and I’m officially in love with nature, the earth, hiking, and overall body movement.

Despite an insane lack of [comfortable] sleep, I felt like I came alive being in the forest. Climbing sure left me short of breath because I’m an American. As much as I hate to admit this, I have totally absorbed the American way of life into my daily routine. After this weekend, I want nothing more than to be rid of it. As I sit here and write this post, I am absolutely missing the feeling of my limbs moving. We have evolved into an increasingly sedentary society. We sit for work, we sit on our way to and from work, whether we’re driving, flying or taking the train we are constantly sitting. We get home from work and sit in front of the television; we sit down at a dining table for dinner, then we do some more sitting before we go to bed.

The sedentary society that has come to be in clashes drastically with human physiology. We went from moving all the time too hardly moving and our bodies aren’t adapting well. For tens of thousands of years humans were nomadic, constantly walking from settlement to settlement. Fast-forward to the present and it has only been about 50-100 years that so many of us sit all day long. Even in just the past 20 years, because of the predominance of computers in daily life, sitting is a “new” phenomenon for the body.

I have often categorized myself as a pretty active person, because in comparison to many people, I am.. I bike ride as often as possible, sometimes going for 20 or more miles. I walk at least 5 miles every single day of my life, I do yoga, and I genuinely enjoy things like Zumba, Insanity, hoop dancing, etc. My workout DVD collection allows for a lot of variation and keeping things interesting… I do cardio and weights and everything else you can come up with. Taking walks or doing any physical activity with close friends around the city always gives me at least a small ego boost because I never lose stamina (sorry ladies, just the truth), and am never tired as quickly as some of my girlfriends tend to get.

Frankly, that’s all bullshit. Being out in nature and feeling my body do what it’s meant to do was incredible and rejuvenating and exhausting all at once. I don’t remember the last time I felt so.. free. I feel like I should be hiking every single day. Like every part of my body was woken up. It was exhilarating. Although I’m sore as all hell today… I am thoroughly enjoying every minute of feeling my muscles burn – it means they worked, and furthermore, it means I worked.

We as humans are constantly finding ways to make things simpler, faster, easier.. we’re all about doing the least amount of work. Examples are everywhere: The hostel where we stayed had real garlic and a jar of crushed garlic – guess which one I used for cooking? Obviously I took the easy way out, as so many other people would have. I’ve been trying to transition to a whole foods – plant based diet and the first question I always get from people about it is: was it hard to stop eating meat? Of course it’s hard, why would you want it to be easy? What’s the reward in that? I consciously decide to put healthier foods into my body every day. Is it easier to walk to McDonald’s and order things based on NUMBER? Sure it is. Is it making me feel good about myself, my body or my life? No, it’s not.

My point in all this story telling is that you should get out there. You should discover something new. Every day should be different and challenging and exciting. Make your body work because Humans were made to move. Stop taking short cuts because life is only worth it if you work hard for everything you achieve. The world is beautiful.

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