Often times when we follow people’s Facebook or Instagram, or even blog pages, we see all the glory but none of the story. Personally, I’ve gotten exceptionally great at sharing all the wonderful happenings in my life and dealing with everything not so great in a secret manner but I’ve come to realize there’s a benefit to sharing the good. 

I woke up today thinking about what an impact social media and all aspects of our environment have on us. I’m personally someone who internalizes their environment almost immediately and it takes weeks to shake off (both in the good and the bad).

Last year around this time I was ending my tenure with a large investment bank. I had (barely) survived my 8 months there. It was the most gut wrenching and sickening experience of my life… and looking back I have to say that my efforts to focus on the positive were a good mission but a false hope. You see in the particular organization I worked for, very few people were friendly or social, they talked constantly of the “big sales” they closed, and bragged about screwing over people and “getting more money out of them.” Individuals would brag about hitting up their grandma for monies to hit their commission goals for the quarter. My boss at the time asked me weekly when I’m bringing my family money over for him to manage… 8 months of asking and 8 months of excuses later… I just left instead. It was disturbing and disgusting, and an impression of the large bank world that I’ll never forget – especially since my friends in other similar organizations said I had it good.

Throughout my brief period there I got physically sick… repeatedly:

• Migraines so bad I threw up at my desk
• Migraines that were so bad and lasted for so many days that I landed in Urgent Care hooked up to an IV
• Strep throat 3 times
• 2 of those strep instances turned into abscesses in my throats that needed draining
• Random and consistent sharp pains in my back that led me to see 7 different chiropractors in 8 months
• Countless colds

I can probably keep going but I’m not fond of reminiscing on those times and I think you get the point. I had never been that consistently sick in my entire life.

It still fascinates me that I bothered to stay as long as I did but I was determined to have a blemish free resume… what a joke when your health is at risk!

It’s when I left that I realized exactly how much my environment affects me. I’m willing to bet that I’m not alone. Even at certain dinner parties- if the company is negative or has a bad aura, I internalize it and feel it for weeks after.

Of course, there’s the opposite side to this. Every time I’m around people who give off great energy, and I go to dinner parties that are filled with empowerment and laughter and good energy, that also stays with me for weeks.

I really try to constantly be the person spreading good energy. I think people in our world today really need it (especially because so many are stuck in terrible work environments or terrible home environments or maybe even both… YIKES!), and even when I go through something, I try to give off positive energy because I believe it comes back to you through the forces in the Universe. I didn’t complain to anyone much during that 8 month period and shared the positives (being able to help someone’s grandma not lose their retirement funds… for instance) and now work for a wonderful Finance firm that cares about their clients beyond measure and does everything possible to take care of them.

When I left the great job I had before I went into the Large bank world, it was because I wanted to earn more money. It wasn’t a great driver and brought me to more money but not in the right way. When I quit the large bank… I was looking to work with wonderful people who cared about their clients and were extremely knowledgeable… and that’s exactly where I landed.

Maybe it’s woo-woo sounding, but I think if you show the Universe how brave you are, it’ll guide you to exactly where you’re meant to be.

As many of you know I’m studying yoga. Starting my 200 Hour RYT on March 24th if we’re going to get specific and I’m scared!

I deal with fear by learning and doing. So I’ve started studying yoga and yogic philosophy – no, yoga is not just hot pretzel moves and head stands.. it is far beyond that. Yogic philosophy goes beyond what you do on the mat and transcends to everything you do in the world. How you show up, and who you are.

One of the core principles of yogic philosophy is the NIYAMAS or the guidelines for self-discipline. There are 5 Niyamas in total. The first of which is Saucha.

Saucha means “cleanliness”, and yes bathing is good (pro tip: bathe regularly, you’re welcome), it’s also important to evaluate the cleanliness of everything in our lives and surrounding us.

How is the energy that you’re bringing onto your yoga mat?

With what kind of attitude do you approach your work, your relationships, and your daily errands?

How clean is your diet?

How clean are your RELATIONSHIPS?

A lot of people are used to saying the word “baggage” when it comes to relationships. What we really mean is that we carry a lot of DIRT with us. Doesn’t even have to be from prior relationships – how often are you arguing over the same thing with your significant other? How often are you slinging dirt from the past into every single thing that happens in the present? They say we have to “forgive AND forget”. It is not enough to just forgive.. because then we’re still not clean. We still have the dirt with us.. we still carry the baggage.

How clean is your environment? How clean is the information you’re feeding into your brain on a daily basis? So many people I know fill their heads with “news”. They have CNN or Fox News.. or really any modern day news channel running from the minute they wake up to almost the minute they go to sleep. You know what CNN is? Constantly Negative News… I can come up with some more fun terms for every other news channel but I think you get the point. What is this information doing to your brain?  Who are the people you surround yourself with? Are they positive? Are they helping you keep your mind in Saucha or are they slugging mud through your heart?

I’ve been practicing Saucha in my life by keeping all my physical spaces as clean as possible. I clean up my desk at the end of the work day, and I make my bed every morning. I never leave my house without doing the dishes, and I always dust the furniture. I noticed these little actions brought peace into my heart every time I walked into my apartment or into my work space. I no longer felt burdened by duties and responsibilities, instead I felt peaceful and ready.

Now imagine what small changes of cleanliness in our relationships, our attitudes, the information we feed ourselves can do to our souls!

xoxo

NikaKay

I believe in so many things that other people seem to question and that I hold true without any doubts:

1. I believe love conquers everything.
2. I believe in true, fairy-tale, everlasting, crazy about each other love.
3. I believe every single person is inherently good.
4. I believe we have a duty to share our souls with the world.

Obviously, these are some pretty strong beliefs and they’re strong for a reason – they are my guiding force in everything I do.
I’m going to work in reverse here and focus on the last one.

I think we all have a duty to share our souls with the world. To elaborate, I believe we all have magic within us; those special talents and abilities that we can use to help the world – we each have at least one. I think we have to share it with the Universe. More so, I think we have these special talents because it is our PURPOSE to share them with the Universe.

If you’re thinking.. I got nothing… I lived a life full of terrible events and overwhelming pain. Then you do have something.. you have your story. You have your strength and your courage… and let’s all be honest…… 

the world needs more of that.

XOXO

Veronica ❤

So yesterday evening I was a little sexually assaulted.

The specifics:

I was walking my dog along our usual south Brooklyn route. 3 guys walked past me and the one closest to me turned around and full on grabbed my ass. I reacted instantly with a swift elbow up to his jaw which made him retreat. As i was cursing, calling him a disgusting piece of shit.. he said (in Russian):

“Trump will win tomorrow and I can grab whatever whenever I want”

His two buddies just stood there and laughed the entire time.

This all happened in the span of about 35 seconds but as soon as I felt him retreat… I just booked it. I ran around the corner and made sure they weren’t following me. then I called 911 – who basically said if I wasn’t in imminent danger, I should just go to my precinct.

So today, I walked into my local police precinct at 7:33 am. The police officerers I spoke to were very nice and understood exactly why this kind of absolutely disgusting brazenness is unacceptable and valid to report. They then phoned Brooklyn Special Victims Unit. Fortunately, I got a good look at all 3 guys and was able to give an exact descrpition so they took me down to the Brooklyn SVU office to file an SVU report and look through mug shots of registered sex offenders to see if anyone fits the bill.

I ended up spending a total of about 4 hours with the officers and one thing was made really clear to me: it is REALLY important to report the “small” incidences.

Let’s be honest, most women have been through worse. I’ve been through worse. An ass grab seems like the least of our problems. But what the police said to me today really rang a bell: almost every rapist they’ve put away had previous instances that were “smaller”.

The official NYPD term for what happened to me is “Force Touch”. It’s not officially sexual assault. But I am writing this in the hope that someone else who gets groped, grabbed or otherwise made to feel uncomfortable.. finds it in themselves to report it.

Just a few thoughts as I wrap up an incredible day exploring one of America’s greatest wonders…. The Grand Canyon!

Wow, my heart is just so full right now and my body is the best kind of tired… it’s been soooooo used today!

I wholly believe that the world is meant to be our playground. Forget all the amazing things humans have built and go out and look at nature. The world as it was before our species intervened. Nature is our playground. Anyone who has even gone on an hour long hike can probably tell you that they felt revitalized. We are meant to climb trees, stumble over stones, swing on branches and interact with the world around us.
What’s even cooler is how much opportunity there is to do it! You can go out and play right now and feed your body and soul. You can get out there and interact with all kinds of animals, plants, natural structures and etc. it’s absolutely incredible! 

We, as a species, were never meant to sit behind desks for 8 hours a day. We are built to explore. We are built for adventure. We are built for the natural world that we’re born into.

I’m not trying to diminish all the amazing things humans have accomplished… but anything I’ve ever seen in a museum pales in comparison to what I’ve seen outside. 

This our world! We have to love it and explore it and be kind and amazing to it! 

Today, I won’t share anything new. I will just give you an example from my life of gratitude in practice and how things can change.

Early on in my relationship with my boyfriend, I would thank him at the end of every single day we spent together. Simple things “thank you for taking time out to have dinner with me”. He used to huff at me and just say what are you thanking me for?! Like I was batshit crazy. 

As our relationship progressed, I kept doing it. When we started the sleepover thing, I would thank him as we were falling asleep. Genuine gratitude.. “Thank you for existing” “thank you for dealing with my mood swings” “thank you for picking me up and saving me a walk home” (obviously this is on top of general gratitude expressed throughout the day) and his responses transitioned to “you have nothing to thank me for, I’m happy to do whatever you need”.
A few months ago we moved in together… And every single night as we fall asleep I thanked him for all the things he did for me that day… Fixing something, changing light bulbs, making breakfast, driving, etc, all the little things that make up a wonderful life. I actually started saying “thank you for everything you do for us” and gave examples every night. 
Last night, before I could say anything.. We were cuddling and he said “thank you for everything you do for us, for always cooking, doing the dishes 99% of the time, and everything everything”

….a little gratitude goes a long way ❤️

Oftentimes we get stuck in a cycle of hatred. A cycle of feeling bitter towards the world for all the things gone wrong and all the things we haven’t managed to quite get a handle on. We’re bitter about our past and all the people that wronged us, all the failed relationships, all the struggles. We’re bitter about all the things not going quite as planned in the present. We’re bitter about how unpredictable the future is. It seems difficult to get past this “rut”.

Good news though – it’s all in your head!

I spent some time meditating this morning on what’s really important to me in life and a word kept popping up over and over – control. And then it clicked that I am a person that needs to feel like I have control over what’s happening in my life, and that in all the times where I’ve felt out of control, I’ve also felt out-of-balance and in a “rut”. Every time there was uncertainty over various elements of my life – whether it’s work, or relationships, or health, I’ve always experienced some level of anxiety along with it. It was an interesting revelation that led to quite a bit of time spent on being introspective.

The problem with being attached to having control is that you also have to be willing to forgive when you lose control. Which is also the part I struggle with. So this morning, I wrote out all the things in my life that I decided to forgive myself for. All the times that I lost control over something. All the things that I’m not quite good at keeping consistent with. All the bad habits and the good habits. All the past junk and all the potential future questions. I let it all go and decided to accept everything I have and accept everything I don’t have and love every beautiful second of it.

Happy Saturday loves ❤