#13ReasonsWhy

I felt I had to take a minute to really talk about this show… because while there are so many things we can learn from it, I feel we have to learn the RIGHT things.

First of all, let me just say that I relate to Hannah Baker more than I would like to admit. I also got voted “best ass” sometime in Junior High School, and again High School. The number of times someone tried to “compliment” me by asking if I was Spanish or a mix baby because of my behind is too many to count. The number of times I’d been grabbed by the rear end before I turned 18 is in the 100+ range.. and I assure you, I did nothing but exist to get this attention.

Our culture and our schools are so SO sexualized, I’m not even sure what could be done about it at this point. I look back now at the pictures I posted on MySpace or Whimit (throw back) and think.. holy cr*p.. I would never want my teenage daughter to be that way. Hindsight is always 20/20 and it’s true that none of this matters any more. But I remember it all seeming so HUGE when I was a teenager, and definitely overwhelming at times. I remember feeling like I had to be a certain way and behave a certain way, and I remember it feeling like it was never going to end. The thing that makes the difference is that I really had and have people in my life I could talk to and real friendships that got me through all of it.

Hannah Baker did not.

Our guidance counselors are NOT trained to deal with everything that goes on now. My high school guidance counselor was so nice and sweet but had no concept of how to advise on anything besides applying for college and choosing classes. I once tried to talk to her about something real and she said “I’m not here to be your friend or parent, at the age of 15, you should be able to talk to someone else in your life.” Great, thanks.

I know I’ve personalized and internalized a lot of this show. But the truth is (and I’m willing to bet that) most women I went to school with can relate to this to a great extent. I’m also willing to bet that no matter how “cool” anyone was, they still dealt with a lot of messed up issues and occurrences. Popularity doesn’t award you a free pass around assholes.

I think the biggest thing we can glean from this show is to all be better adults. To make sure we aren’t judging someone without knowing what’s going on with them. To stop getting so caught up in our own lives and our problems that we forget how to be caring humans. Sometimes a hug is all someone needs.

Lastly, I’m just going to throw this in there… the suicide helpline is actually useful. If it feels like you have no one… call them. They will help you find a reason to stay.

Call 1-800-273-8255