Complacency is Death

This morning one of my close friends told me that she can’t open up her store in SoHo this morning because the “Body Acceptance Movement” is protesting outside her business.

Okay, before this becomes a rant on everything that’s wrong with “BAM”, I have to say that I believe that all people should love their bodies at every size. I believe, more specifically, all women should love themselves so much that it doesn’t matter what size they are.

That being said.. BAM.. which is essentially the Fat Acceptance Movement.. angers me like very few other things in this world. The fact that my friend is losing income and her beautiful clothes can’t be sold today because 20 morbidly obese people are SITTING outside her business, is unacceptable.

I make a living helping people. As a Financial Planner, I help them improve their money situations – I have helped people get out of debt, buy homes, grow their assets, send their kids to college, and even retire comfortably. As a Health Coach, I help people improve their health – I have helped diabetics minimize the effects diabetes has on their lives, helped countless people lose weight, helped people with eating disorders to gain weight in healthy ways, and helped people live better lives with Crohns, MS, and a wide variety of other illnesses with terrible symptoms.

All of the people I have helped have had one thing in common: they all want to improve their current situations.

I don’t understand people who get to a place in their life where not only do they give up on themselves, but they’re encouraging everyone to give up on them too.

My weight has fluctuated my whole adult life, I bounce around somewhere between a size 2 and a size 8 based on how I feed my body and whether or not I’m on a health kick. It’s been pretty stable the last 2.5 years since I found a lifestyle that works for me. I have loved myself at a size 2, and I have loved myself at a size 8. But I loved myself enough to get healthy and always try to make it better. If i wake up tired for a few days straight, I must be lacking something, I must not be getting enough Vitamin B in my diet, or I need to get to sleep sooner. SOMETHING. Something has to improve and I need to change something in my life. That’s the thinking process that I go through. When I’m at a size 8, I also get not-so-subtle nudges from my family members that I need to stop eating pasta and start eating kale.

But the Body Acceptance Movement is a different beast. It says that not only should we stop improving ourselves, it suggests that the people in our lives should also stop trying to help us improve. When you stop loving yourself, the ONE thing you should want is for everyone in your life to love you SO much that they don’t let you continue hurting yourself. Obesity is painful. It is painful to live in a world where everyone judges you, judges everything you put in your mouth, judges what you dress, judges how much space you take up. Obesity is MORE painful on the inside. Obesity makes people immobile. Obesity makes it hard to sleep, hard to move, hard to eat, hard to LIVE. If you are Obese, I honestly hope you have people in your life who love you so much that they help you get healthier. If you give up on yourself, that’s the moment you stop loving yourself. And by asking your family and those around you to “accept you” or rather give up on you, you are asking them to stop loving you too.

I believe that loving yourself at every size stems from loving yourself to better health. Size aside, there is clearly nothing healthy about being obese. All studies indicate that despite all possible issues, diseases, and illness – thyroid, diabetes, MS, etc., you can still control what you put in your body and how you treat it and that you can absolutely lose weight. Studies also show that because of obesity, we will literally be the first generation to not outlive our parents. Your “Body Acceptance” may literally kill you.

So this is essentially a plea. Please stop being complacent in your situation. Instead of asking your loved ones to accept you. Ask your loved ones to support you, help you, and love you so much that they force you to make better decisions, and help you improve your health. Ask them to be your accountability partners. Or ask a stranger or a co-worker or anyone you think will actually keep you honest.

I realize this is easier said than done but: Love yourself more than any challenge that presents itself in your life.