There’s No Such Thing as 50/50

Today I listened to a podcast which discussed how we have to be our best selves at all times, regardless of how people are to us.

This obviously got me thinking about relationships and I’ve realized that many relationship problems could be solved if we stopped being so reactive or responsive to what our counterpart does.

For instance, how many people start planning a bunch of stuff in their relationship and then stop because the other person never plans anything? And then you start arguing with them that they never plan anything? How often do people have arguments in their relationship that they stopped going out and doing stuff? Or that their significant other stopped being as affectionate or as loving or as giving?

Well, what if we stopped and evaluated everything that we stopped doing? What if we carried our end of the relationship as if the real relationship was 100/100 instead of the usual 50/50?

The truth is that we often stop doing things we’d normally be doing, or start behaving even slightly different because of how our partner behaves. Facebook is a great example of this – how many times do people who normally post their relationships all over FB suddenly get involved and there’s no trace? Why? Because the new person their with isn’t a big fan of putting things out there.

The answer is simply- who cares what the other person does?

You should want to be the best girlfriend or best boyfriend or best husband or best wife FOR YOU! For yourself! Why wouldn’t you want to be the absolute best person you can be in every situation?

This post is really loaded with questions, but they’re questions that we should all ask ourselves.

Would we be behaving the way we’re behaving regardless of any external factors?

The same is true for all the relationships in our lives. Are you friends with someone just because they’re friends with you, or you know them for a long time, or do they still bring value into your life? Do you still WANT them in your life?

So many parts of our lives are reactions or responses to what others are doing instead of actions that come from inside our hearts.