In the name of God & All that is Holy!

I realize that this post may offend some people. So I apologize in advance, and would generally appreciate the feedback and input of those that may be offended. And for the record, I don’t believe in God or any written religion of any sort. The bible, torah, and any other book you can come up with are all very well-written fairy tales to me. I believe you should be a good and moral person in your present life on earth because that’s the right thing to do, not because you’re going to some magical place in your after life. Furthermore, I believe that religion is just no longer needed in society. I believe it was ‘created’ as a way to maintain social order and prevent humans from killing and raping each other non-stop. But now we have government for that. Prison in the present life somehow seems like a bigger threat than Hell in a possible and uncertain ‘next life’. On another note, Heaven must be crowded  – unless you believe everyone is a sinner – in which case…. Hell must be crowded.

Now I must also tell you that my Mom is ready to throw a parade for me because my boyfriend happens to be Jewish. He’s about as Jewish as I am though- meaning not at all. And my mother doesn’t even know when Hanukkah is – but all that is somehow irrelevant because by tradition my family is Jewish and so I absolutely MUST marry a Jew. Us non-real Jews are not the only ones that think this way – although I will say that we’re one of the least accepting religions – I feel like if a Catholic marries a Christian or a Jew it’s not AS big of a deal to the Catholic family as long as the person getting married is happy.

See there’s a multitude of reasons as to why people think very similarly to the way my family thinks. My mom grew up in the Soviet Union, where you were ostracized for being Jewish – and so all the Jewish kids stuck together. And you end up marrying a Russian Jew because THAT’S ALL THERE IS. It’s not like there are a bunch of Canadian Catholics running around in Russia. There are no other people except Russians and there were only 2 religions – Russian Orthodox Christians and the Russian Jews. And that’s how it was in every country, you go to Italy and all you get is Italians. You go to Israel and you have the Muslims separate from the Israelites and that’s just about it. The point is that no other country is a melting pot, except the US. But we all come here and settle into little communities and create our own mini-countries. Now you have all the Russians in Brighton Beach and Sheepshead Bay. You have Poles in Greenpoint, the Spanish in Sunset Park and so on and so forth. So we take this “melting pot” and divide it and try to replicate what we’re claiming to want to get away from.

Now, as an immigrant, I was brought here for better opportunities. I still have yet to figure out why my family thinks that meeting people outside my cultural group is not part of that opportunity. Meeting people with different experiences, beliefs, religion, culture, food, dancing, music, etc.. ALL of that is opportunity. I personally think it’s foolish to avoid it and try to stick to your own little cultural circle. The world is more connected than ever before. I can ship things to people ACROSS THE WORLD in under 24 hours but I avoid the people a couple of blocks down because “they’re not my people” … that’s just an archaic way of thinking.

Part of growing up in a different country than your family grew up in is that you are bound to have to fight some battles; battles between the traditional and the logical.

For All the Love in the World!

First of all, HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY EVERYONE!

Secondly, I will never understand people who loathe this holiday. And you all know as well as I do, that people who dislike Valentine’s Day are bitter as hell about it! Even if you’re single, what is there to be so angry about? It’s not like the only love in your life comes from a significant other. In fact, some of the greatest love comes from friends, family & pets! Boyfriends and girlfriends will come and go in your life but the people you generally love every single day of your life – those people are likely to be around for a long time. So APPRECIATE them & maybe buy them some chocolate!

I really enjoy Valentine’s day and not because I’m in a relationship or anything but because Love is everywhere! It’s a day dedicated to celebrating the magical concept that is Love. People go out of their way to do nice things for people simply because of it and that’s amazing! It feels like everyone slows down a bit just to enjoy one of the most amazing feelings and experiences that this world has to offer! Plus flowers and chocolate are EVERYWHERE and just seeing someone carrying a bouquet makes my heart smile.

 

I hope everyone stops today and thinks about all the love that’s all around them. You have so much to be thankful for!

Co- Everything

Ever look around lately and notice how dependent people are?

I don’t just mean the loser dweebs who are living in their Mom’s basement at the age of 38. I mean everyone in every single way is seemingly dependent on someone for something. I’ll just discuss a few that have been tingling my senses recently.

This applies very obviously to couples. They’re the couples that order for each other, agree on everything, and basically blend two separate brains into a (not so bright) one. The ones who can’t possibly imagine being away from their significant other for longer than a few days. What did you do before this person? And more so, what are you planning to do after? If you are relying on your girlfriend to choose your wardrobe – are you going to stop buying clothes when you guys break up? Also, when did this become “okay” to do? The worst part of this is meshing lives (and obviously .. de-meshing them). If your boyfriend is your only friend and you forget that you have a life outside of his existence and you drop all of your girlfriends to focus on this wonderful relationship – what happens if you break up? Are you just hoping your friends are good enough people to be like “well you dropped me like a cheap hooker for the last 2 years- but SURE welcome back into my life!” I wouldn’t count on it.

Another type of dependance is the one where you have those people that value the opinions of their friends so highly that they run to them on EVERY single issue. Especially the ones who are IN relationships and take the advice of their SINGLE friends. Now, I’m not saying that people don’t have knowledge and experience to share. But some instances can’t have objective opinions. If your boyfriend is behaving a certain way, there’s a context and story to it, and unless your friends are actually INVOLVED in your relationship… which I hope they aren’t.. they can’t possibly know what’s best in every situation. Plus, why would you want them to? Create your own relationships, your own happiness, and your own world. The best relationships are the ones kept private.

The absolute worst kind of dependance is one where someone depends on someone else – anyone else – to validate them as a person and to make them happy. This could be family, friend, or significant other. But I’ve come across those people that are not comfortable with themselves to the point that they live and breathe off the opinions of others. This applies to physical and emotional things. You need someone to always tell you that you’re pretty? Or someone to tell you that you’re judging a situation properly? Or someone to tell you to ‘go for it’ when it comes to reaching your goals or dreams? Why do you need constant ass kicking and affirmation? Is it nice when your significant other tells you that you’re beautiful… Sure! Can you live without it? HOPEFULLY. Maybe I’m crazy but I have the automatic assumption that my boyfriend is attracted to me and likes me – otherwise, why would he even bother to be with me?

The point in all of this is that everyone has to find their own happiness. No matter who you’re with – you have to have a life of your own; goals of your own, friends of your own, time by yourself and an overall drive to be successful in life – regardless of whether that relationship continues or not. And mainly – you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else.